Wastefulness

It's incredible how wasteful we all are. We don't even realize how much we waste of everything everyday. We waste time; we waste paper; we waste food; we waste just about everything there is to waste. 

Is it an inherent trait for humans to waste? Are there people out there who don't waste anything? I haven't met one yet, but then again I've only met a tiny fraction of the people of the world. For all I know, there could be millions of people who don't waste. 

But, for now, I am inclined to believe otherwise. And I know lots of people are working to reduce waste and reduce the trait of being wasteful. But it'll be one hard job. 

Cake and Money

Christopher just told me that the cake went bad. Now I'm sad. I don't even know when I planned to eat a piece but I'm still sad. I like cake too much.

Speaking of cake, there are a lot of birthdays coming up. I need to start saving my money, especially since after the birthdays end, Christmas shopping will start. So far I have no money. I think I'm doing well, don't you?

I'm really bad at handling money. I always forget how much I have or how much I've spent. I don't think I'll have that problem when I'm older though. I just think that, now, the worst case scenario is that I'll borrow money from my parents and pay them later. So I don't worry about my money.

That's probably why I owe my parents so much money.

How did this start off about cake and end about money? I guess you need money to buy cake (I was going to write that you need cake to buy money which would make the world a much happier place but is not the case). All I know is that cake and money are both great things to have, as long as you don't eat them too. 

People

I always think of people negatively. I'm always more likely to believe that they have more evil than good in them. And maybe I have a good reason for thinking that, and maybe I don't, but either way, I think of people that way.

But, today, I realized that I could be wrong. Not completely wrong, mind you, just sort of wrong. Maybe not everyone has more bad than good in them. Maybe some of the people who I thought were not nice at all turned out to be not that bad. Maybe people in general aren't that bad.

Or maybe this is just how I think when I don't drink my second coffee. Tomorrow I'll probably think negatively of people just like before. 

The sun

I'm so tired as I'm writing this. And tomorrow will be one long day.

Here's a picture of the sun. Sorry I can't write anything more.

Mix of Topics

This week went by quickly. I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday. I hope the days go by quickly like this till the end of the year. If they do, then this year will be the best year ever.

I'm at a complete blank (is that even the right expression?). I can't think of anything interesting enough to write about. I was going to write about how the people who are closest to you always have a bigger chance of disappointing you and how that disappointment is normally big. But I didn't really feel like going much into that.

Then I wanted to write about how we took a personality text at school and from a scale of 0-40 in being extroverted (40 being the score of a person who was the most extroverted) I got a score of 1. I didn't realize I was that introverted! But that's all I have to say on that subject so it's not enough for me to write a post about.

Of course I could talk about the birthdays today. But I mean, there's not much to say. We had a birthday celebration and I got to eat two kinds of cake. Also, we sang happy birthday and everything was just great. I never thought I would ever get so emotional about the happy birthday song.

And that's about it. I could tell you a bit about school, but, really, who cares? I hope your weeks have been going by as quickly as mine, or that they have been going by slowly and you're enjoying them. 

Fine

Even though most people in my class are complaining about the work we're getting this year and how hard it is, I've actually been enjoying it. I like all my classes and so far all the work seems simple enough. I'm glad I picked the science course instead of the arts one.

The year has also been good so far in all areas, not just the work and subjects. I don't know how long it will last, but so far things are going fine.

Anyway, on that note I will end this: I'll leave everything fine. 

For Granted

For some reason, lately, I have to refresh the page a few times before I can write a post. It's getting kind of annoying. But at least so far it's always worked in the end.

When I look back on my life, I realize that so far my life has been a good, interesting one. It wasn't always the best, but most of the time it was - and still is - good. If only I realized this back then instead of taking things for granted. I still take most things for granted. I need to stop that though.

Basically, what I want to say is that I should be more thankful for everything I've got. And I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Gender Biases

I read an article today about how gender biases still exist today. My first thought was that of course they still exist. Maybe I know they exist more than someone living in the west would because there are many gender biases here that I experience all the time. But it still shouldn't be surprising to anyone.

I always knew that they still exist in the Western world even if they aren't as overt as they are here. The article even says that both women and men form these biases unconsciously and aren't aware that they're being sexist. I find that part very fascinating because I personally know many people who claim they aren't sexist when their actions say otherwise. Now, I know most of the time they do realize that they are acting sexist but just don't want to admit it, but there are a few cases where I think the people don't realize that they're acting on gender biases.

This article was good because it showed people who believe gender biases are no longer problem that they still are. I think awareness is always the first step to solving anything, so I hope more people become aware of the problem of gender biases and sexism which still largely exist. 

Routine vs Change

I feel like I'm a person of contradictions. For example, I love routine. I love to wake up at the same time everyday and follow the same routine to get ready. And then have coffee at the same time everyday and have routines for other little things. When those routines need to change, then I get a tiny bit annoyed. I mean, it's not like a huge thing, and I can deal with it, but deep down I know I'm annoyed.

Saying that, I also can say that I like change. If things are always the same, I get bored. I remember thinking as a kid as I went to make my breakfast on a Saturday morning how I was bored with my life and wanted to go live somewhere else, have a different routine. And I feel like that all the time now.

So how can I feel both those things at once? How can I like routine and change at the same time? I wish I had the answer but I don't. I'll just have to go on living my life always wondering that.
(I make that sound a lot more dramatic than it actually is.)

Waiting and Seeing

I'm running out of ideas as to what I should I write here. I think that I've said pretty much all I've wanted to say and now I'm lost. But I will continue this until December, even though a lot of the time I won't want to. 

And I have no idea what I'll do in November. But I'll cope. 

'I'll cope' sounds like I'm going to war or will have to face something truly horrible. But I like writing so I'm sure I'll be able to write about nothing. Maybe I'll even be able to write a full post about nothing, like this one and many of the previous ones. 

I guess we'll just have to wait and see. 

More of Myself

Sometimes I don't like myself. I make up excuses for the way I am as if they're actually valid excuses. They're not. I don't tell people my excuses, but I keep them for myself. It's a way to reassure myself; a way of telling myself that sure, maybe I'm not the best, but it's not my fault. But whose fault could it be but mine?

Sometimes, I feel like I don't realize what I have because I'm too fixated on everything I don't have. But it's hard sometimes to look at the good things; it's human nature to always want more. See? I always come up with excuses.

I know that I'm a pessimist - though I think I'm actually a realist, but don't most pessimist think that? I wish I was optimistic. I wish I could see a future where I would not make any excuses or focus on the things I don't have. But I can't see a good future ever, even though according to my life so far, I should have a good one: nothing points to a bad future.

Don't think I'm depressed or upset in anyway just because I'm writing this; I just wanted to get it off my chest. I mean, sometimes I don't like who I am, but sometimes I do. It's just now I'm feeling more of the former. 

Pictures

You know what I haven't done in a while? I haven't made a post with pictures. So even thoug yesterday's post was horrible and I was planning on writing something worthwhile, I will instead post some pictures.

Enjoy!

My second cousins had a pet rabbit. I forgot his name, but I remember he was cute.

This is a picture of idea of the Internet. Not only is this an extremely cool picture, it's also artistic. 

 

This is the actual Internet. 

This took way longer for me to do than I expected it would. So three pictures is all you're getting! Bye!

Short Sentences

Coffee is good. I love coffee.

Anyway, that's what I'm drinking now. I need to sleep though, so I will once I finish my coffee. Did I mention that I love coffee?

I think today was a good day. I'm happy about it. Sorry for the short sentences, but I am typing with only one hand. So, this post will be made of only short sentences. Is that okay? Not that it matters because you don't have a say in the format of the posts I've already posted.

Was that a short sentence? Anyway, this is. 

Reading about Evolution

Currently I'm reading 'The Greatest Show on Earth' by Richard Dawkins, along with a few other books, and so far it's really interesting. I've always found evolution fascinating, so I'm sure that I'll enjoy reading a whole book about it. And, it's a book written by Dawkins, so that's a plus.

I'm glad that my school teaches evolution even though most of the students and teachers believe in Creationism. At least they realise that it's a proven theory and that it should be taught in school. We don't study it in detail though; we just take the basics. But at least it's something.

Anyway, I just started the book and because I'm reading three other books, I don't know when I'll finish it. But I'm excited to read it. 

Distracted

For some reason, today I couldn't concentrate in class. Normally, I'm always aware of what's happening and what the teacher is saying, but today I couldn't focus. I can't think of any good enough reason to distract me, but I was distracted.

Anyway, it's not like I missed much. And I understood the notes so I'm fine. I just want to figure out why I wasn't focusing. I can't even remember what happened in some of the classes. It's like I've drawn a blank when I try to recall them. And I know it's completely normal to zone out during class; it's just not all that normal for me.

Have you ever felt distracted without knowing why, or is it just me? Maybe I'm just weird.

Exceptions

We live in a world full of exceptions. We, as humans, always make our own exceptions for everything. I know that exceptions are what makes things so interesting and not boring, but imagine how much simpler life would be without them. 

For example, it is known that people who don't do their homework are slackers. But it's also known that sometimes they have family issues or aren't able to grasp the concept of that particular homework and so those people aren't slackers; they're the exceptions. Technically, school shouldn't provide exceptions, and yet they do because school is, obviously, run by humans. And we just have to have exceptions. 

That was a very simple example and not a very good one. That exception isn't such a big deal and it doesn't really affect many people. But if life was just made of rules without exceptions then it would be a whole lot easier to follow them because you'd know there wasn't a way out. And it would be a whole lot easier to understand life. 

Like I mentioned previously, a life without exceptions would be a boring one, but I still can't help imagining how it would be like. But life is life as it is now and as we all know it, and no matter what I think, it'll always be full of exceptions. 

Why?

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm here. Why me? Why do I have this life and not another one? I don't mean that I want another one; I'd say that I'm pretty content with my life. I just want to know why.

When I was younger, I would think about myself and how I came to be what I was. I don't mean biologically. It's hard to describe, but I'll try. I used to picture the way a body got a personality was random. I mean, I knew it wasn't completely random, but I would think that there were, for example, three possible personality candidates for the embryo I used to be. And then one of us would be picked randomly. So it wasn't completely random and yet it kind of was.

Of course, I know that's not how things work, but I thought it was when I was a kid. So I would spend a lot of time trying to think why I was picked or if it was really just something random and I was lucky. I would also wonder if all of this - and by 'this' I mean life - was just a dream. Maybe I didn't know it, but I was actually asleep the whole time.

The point of this post is basically to portray to you all how weird I was as a kid. I still am weird, but at least I know more than I did then about life. I still wonder why though. 

Fun and Energy

Today, Nadeen had a graduation pool party. It wasn't really a party, just our group of friends hanging out, but still. It was quite interesting and eventful.

But I'm really tired now even though I didn't actually swim that much and didn't do anything. I just feel like I have no energy. I also feel like I'm no longer any fun. I mean, I know I can be fun t times, but I feel like I always choose not to be fun and I don't know why. I wish I did though.

Anyway, tomorrow seems like it will be a long day, so I should go to sleep now. Good night!

Heroes

I was watching something today that was about how people become evil. The speaker mentioned how a person's environment and the system around him or her could lead them to make 'evil' decisions. He also mentioned how following blindly can make people act in ways that they wouldn't normally act in. Of course those are all things that most people can guess, but sometimes we just don't think about them. 

Another thing he said was how a person could also change their personality to become good because sometimes they aren't completely bad but have been lead to make a bad decision. He ended his speech by saying that students from a young age should be lead to believe that they can all be heroes if they just wait for their time - and, according to him, we're all going to get our chance. 

I found that part very interesting because that means everyone has the potential of being a hero. I imagine myself in the future as someone who helps people, but I would never imagine myself as a hero. I don't even know what that means. What is a hero? Is it a person who saves a person from death or just saves them? What does 'saving' a person imply?

This all can lead to many questions which I will not bore you with, but I do think it's a good idea for everyone to believe they can be a hero. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

Myself

Sometimes, I feel like I really understand myself, while at other times I feel like I don't. A lot of times this summer I was feeling like the latter. Now that school has started though, I feel like the former. So I'm trying to figure out what caused this change in my thoughts.

Maybe it was because in the summer I was doing a lot of thinking about stuff, while now I mostly think about school work. Maybe just seeing everyone in school has made me more aware of myself. I know that doesn't sound like it should make sense, but it does to me. I can compare myself to others to learn more about myself and therefore understand myself. Or maybe I just have more things to think about besides myself so I've decided that I completely understand myself so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Yet here I am, thinking about it.

Maybe there is no reason and I'm just over thinking this. And maybe - and this is probably the most accurate one - no one is interested in this kind of stuff except me, and no one finds in odd that I've changed my mind about myself and if they did find it odd, they wouldn't care. 

Not so interesting post

This week seems to be going by quickly and yet slowly. How is that even possible? What does that even mean? I'm not sure, but it feels like that.

I finally accomplished one my goals that I had for summer, so I'm happy about that. I mean, I realise it's no longer summer, but that goal had to be delayed so it's okay. Otherwise, there is absolutely nothing new with me.

Now I'm waiting for my mum to get off the phone so I can talk to her. That's the most interesting thing happening right now. Since I'm so fascinating today, I'll think I'll end this here.

:)

Parallel Universe

This is probably because I watched Fringe, but sometimes I wonder what a parallel universe would be like. How different would my life be if things were just a tiny bit different? Would I have been eating birthday cake yesterday? Would I be less shy? Would I have been in Canada? Would I be excited today instead of worried?

These are all things that would be different if one tiny thing was different. For example, what would have happened if we had decided to move to Toronto and not come here? I mean, sure it seems like a big change, but it's actually just one life choice.

These things really interest me. I know that no matter how much I think about it, things will always be the same as they are now, but it's still fun to wonder about. Plus, for all I know, parallel universe me is doing a lot worse than I am. I hope she's not, though. 

Literally Where I Am

I have no time to write so this will be a disappointing post.

I have a friend who always asks if how I imagined myself as a teenager when I was a kid was actually how I turned out to be. I never know the answer, because I didn't really think much about how my teenage years would be like. But, I do know that I would never have guessed that I would be where I am today.

And by where I am, I mean literally where I am. I always thought I'd be in Canada, not in Egypt. So all my plans as a kid were completely pushed away for other plans that had to do with Egypt. I never told this to my friend though. I wonder why. 

Things on my mind

Right before I have to present something for school, I always feel sick. I start to feel very hot and I feel like throwing up. Normally, that feeling goes away as soon as I actually start presenting. I know that I'm nervous throughout the whole presentation, but I stop feeling sick.

The reason I'm mentioning this now even though we haven't had time to have any presentations yet is that I'm feeling like this now. I mean, not right this second, but during the day, I, all of a sudden, feel nervous and then feel sick.

It's not as bad as wanting to throw up; I just feel ill because I'm nervous. I know why I'm nervous and that being nervous won't help, but I can't help how I feel. I guess I'll just have to wait for these next few days to pass and hope for the best. 

12 year old stories

When I was eleven or twelve and I would spend the summer at my grandparent's house, I would write a lot. I was working on a story which my grandpa told me he'd give me a sum of money for every page I was able to write.

At the time, I was very happy with the story and everyone who read it would tell me how great it was and that I really had potential and all that stuff. So, I was quite proud of myself.

Now, I never finished that story. I don't know if I got bored of it, or if I decided to spend the last few weeks of summer reading, but either way it was put under my never to be completed stories. A few years ago though, I decided to type the story and maybe try to come up with an ending.

When I read the first few pages, I found that it was really horrible. It was written horribly and it seemed to me that an eight year old could have written something better. When I asked my mum how she possibly thought the story was any good, she replied that it was good for my age at the time and that the ideas we're very good.

I still didn't think that was a good reason, but I let it slide.

Anyway, I never finished copying it and so it's still left unfinished. But today, I decided to type some more of it, and even though it was really hard for me to read, I tried to fix it up without completely removing the essence of 12 year old in me who had written it at the time.

I'll try to type all of it, but I doubt I ever will. And maybe I can make it less horrible and actually something to be proud of. 

Music Stuff

The tips of my fingers hurt from playing guitar. So typing this isn't the most fun thing in the world.

The latest Panic! At the Disco album is so good! I mean I think that all their songs - or at least the ones I've heard - are great, but the album is just something else. I try to play some of their songs on the guitar, but they don't sound that good. Not to mention I can not sing the songs right at all when I'm playing.

I actually have that problem a lot. Without the guitar, when I sing, I can stay in tune. Once I start to play guitar though, I encounter problems. But if someone else is playing guitar then I don't have any problems. Not that I can sing well in the first place. That's probably where the problem starts from.

But that's enough about music and singing and guitar. Now I will go and read. Have a nice day tomorrow!

School Stuff

A few days ago, I had a lot to write about, but I didn't write any of it because I felt like I had to end the house story. Now, none of those things are relevant and I have nothing much to talk about.

Today was a much better day than yesterday. We actually did some stuff at school and I didn't get a headache. I mean, I kind of felt I had a small one at one point but it went away quickly so that's something.

I still need to get used to the whole Nadeen not being in school with us. It's kind of weird cause she's always been there. Even when I would not see her the whole day, at least I knew she was there and I'd be able to see her later. It's good that she's out of there though.

It'll be good when I'm out of there also.

First Day

Even though today was the first day of school, I don't have anything special to say. I guess that after going to school all these years the first day is no longer anything special. As soon as you know which class you're in and your teachers, it's exactly the same as the year before.

We didn't do much today, and I couldn't help thinking that if I was at home I'd be more productive. Sure, until 9 I would be sleeping but I would accomplish more and not get a headache by 12 and therefore kill the rest of the day. That's what school does.

I didn't mean for this to be a hating-on-school post. I have hopes that I might even enjoy school this year. Today just wasn't a good day, so I'm not in these best of moods to write a cheery post.

Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. 

Old House (2)

The old hardwood floor had many holes. Rory couldn't help but think that there was a huge possibility that termites were the cause for the holes. She didn't want to come in contact with any bugs, never mind a bug like a termite.

She took out her flashlight from her back pocket and as she clicked on the switch, the creaking door slammed shut. The house became completely quiet. It was so quiet that she found it eerie. There was no pitter-patter of rodents running on hardwood, no swoosh of wind blowing through the open windows, and now no creaking door.

There was one noise though: Rory's heavy breathing. Try as she might, she could not breath normally, and her heart was beating too rapidly for her liking.

"I just have to go to the garden, that's all," Rory whispered to herself, mostly to reassure herself that she could talk.

With that thought, she took a few steps, then some more, then some more. When she was half way through, she saw two round circles gleaming at her. Scared, she quickly shone her flashlight on them and let out a yelp as she looked at the eyes of a huge rat. It was as big as a small cat, and Rory didn't like cats.

Without thinking, she started to run towards the door.

Meanwhile, the younger kids outside were starting to get nervous. The house wasn't that long and Rory should have been back by then.

"Sarah, stand still!" Johnny said.

Sarah stopped pacing and looked towards the house worriedly. She couldn't stop thinking of all the things that could have happened to Rory. Why had Johnny convinced them to come to this place in the first place? They could have all been at home playing hide and seek in the yard.

Then to her delight, Rory came running from the back garden towards them.

"Johnny, look! She's back!" she cried.

When Rory was next to them she grinned. "Well, that was easy. There's nothing to be scared of. I mean besides the termites, the huge rats, and the ghosts."

"Ghosts? You saw a ghost?" Johnny said in awe.

Rory shrugged. "If you want to know what's in there, then you can go inside." And with that she left the two younger kids and walked away.

Sarah and Johnny looked at each other with wide eyes. Then ran towards their sister, both secretly agreeing never to go near that haunted house again.

Wishes

Lately, I've been thinking of what my three wishes would be if a magic genie showed up. When I was younger, I would always say that I would wish for an infinite number of wishes. Then I'd ponder about how to summon those wishes. After all, I'd watched enough movies and shows about people wishing things that they didn't want to wish for, and I always told myself that that would never happen to me. No, I would tell that genie that when I snapped my fingers four times - or anything that involved something I wouldn't randomly do - and then said a wish then that wish would be a real one. That way I could always make sure that I didn't wish something accidentally.

But what if infinite wishes wasn't a possibility? What would I do then? I have no idea what I'd wish for. I think that I would over think about those three wishes, and in fact become consumed by them, that I would never make a single wish.

I guess that would be the only case where the world not being a wish-granting factory (tfios) would be a good thing: I wouldn't want to waste my life thinking of the perfect wishes just to end up not wishing for anything.