Happy New Year

It's been a while since I last wrote. I know I said that I would start to blog again in December after NaNoWriMo, but I just didn't feel like it at all. In October, I mentioned a few times how a lot of the time I wasn't in the mood for blogging, but that I would continue in December anyway. But when December came, I just felt like I really couldn't write anything. I know that sounds lame, but it's the truth. I just knew that if I started to blog again, each post would get increasingly more boring. Not to mention that in general December is not really a good month for me, even though it's Christmas time and I love Christmas. But this year, I didn't even get into the Christmas spirit at all which is very weird for me.

Anyway, it's a new year and though I definitely don't plan to blog everyday, I don't want to forget about this. Maybe I'll do BEDA or something like I used to do. I'm not promising anything though, but I plan to blog. From the previous paragraph it may seem like I really don't like blogging, but, honestly, I do. I just didn't feel like it in December.

But enough about blogging. Last year wasn't the best year and I hope that 2013 will turn out to be better. I have a lot of high hopes for this year, and although I tend to believe that you shouldn't have high hopes at the beginning of a new year, I can't help myself. I think it's because I think anything will be better than last year.

I don't have any resolutions which isn't a good thing because although you normally forget about them by February, I think resolutions are important. They give you something to aim for and something to look forward to. I hope you all have good resolutions.

This post has been pretty long and I still feel like I have a lot to say. But to sum it up, happy new year. I hope it's a great year for everyone. Remember that a new year is like a new beginning and that anything is possible. So aim for the impossible.

Happy Halloween!

This is the first Halloween of my life where I did nothing to celebrate it. The last few years, I didn't exactly do much, but at least we had a party at school and we put decorations and stuff. And I would wear black or orange and at least do something to make the day special.

This year I did nothing at all. It was almost like it was a completely normal day. But it's Halloween and I'm upset that I didn't do anything. I guess there's always next year though.

I have a lot to do tomorrow, so I need to sleep now so I can wake up in time. I hope that the rest of you had a good Halloween and did something - even if it was something small - to celebrate it. 

Stress

I recently read an article (and I can't find it again so I can't give you the link, sorry) about how people have the need to be stressful. The article stated that having a lot work to do and being stressed is viewed by society as honourable, and so we intentionally stress ourselves by doing too much or trying to handle many things.

I completely agree with the article because I have seen people always compete to be the person who has the most to handle or who is the most stressed. In fact, I think I, myself, find any reason to stress out and give myself goals I know I won't be able to achieve which stresses me. I think people really do feel proud when they have so much to carry that they stress themselves out; it makes us feel like we're somehow better than everyone else.

I guess it's also because if you aren't stressed out with work or responsibilities, people see you as lazy and they somewhat belittle you with how carefree your life is. This motivates us to work extra and do more than we actually need to and and take on more than we can handle.

But being stressed is not a good thing. It's not good for your mental health or your physical health, so I think society needs to change. It needs to be more accepting of people who don't necessarily work until they drop. It needs to honour people who aren't stressed, not belittle them.

I'm not saying working a lot is bad; I'm saying working to the extent where you become stressed is, especially when you're doing so to seem like a better person. Life is too short for us to work to become esteemed only to become stressed and unable to enjoy it. 

xP

It feels really good to be writing this on my laptop. I never realised how much longer it takes for me to type on my iPad. Anyway, that's not important.

I have a headache so I'll probably be writing a few random things - basically anything that comes to my mind.

I started watching Arrested Development, and so far I really like it. I didn't think I would like it as much as I do after watching the first episode. But, yeah, it's good.

Today I didn't do anything productive, so I'm upset about that. Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll get a few things done.

I had a good weekend though. I mean it had it's downs, but for the most part it was good. Weekends are normally good, though, so it's not that much of a surprise.

Okay, I'm going to end this here because I don't have anything interesting at all to write.

Fearing Failure

I always feel like I won't be able to handle the next step in my life even though I know that I will. I always feel like something is bound to come in my way and stump me and that it'll happen at a crucial point in my life. But then I think about what's next for me and I realize that I should be able to tackle what's coming.

So why do I feel like I won't be able to?

Maybe it's just the kind of person I am. I know that I always worry about things and I always feel I am bound to fail. Whether I fail or not most of the time has no impact on that fact. I still always feel I'm going to fail even if my track record is perfect.

I guess it is just my personality. I wish I could change it. Does anyone know where they sell personalities which don't fear failure? I would really like one. 

Eyes Closed

You know when you look at something for so long that when you close your eyes, you see it? And sometimes it's small things like cards because you've played a lot of solitaire or pages of a book because you've read a lot. But sometimes it's something you want to keep on seeing, so you close your eyes more often.

That's happening to me now. Even when I sneeze and my eyes are shut for that fraction of a second, I can see the image. And it's a really nice image. So I'm going to go now to close my eyes. 

Beach

Today we went to the beach for a bit in the morning. I didn't swim though because a) I didn't bring a bathing suit and b) I don't like to swim in the sea. 

I love beaches; I just don't like swimming at beaches. That's because I have a little phobia of the fish in the sea. I like to be able to see what's swimming around me which I can't do because seas are never clear. What I like even more is for there to be nothing swimming around me underwater. 

I guess I'm just a pool person. 

Sleep

Today was an eventful day. It wasn't exactly what I thought it would be like, but that's okay. Anyway, I'm really tired now. I know it's still early, but all I can think of is sleep. Sleep sounds so good right now. 

You know when sleep won't sound good? When I'm doing my English project that is finding the word sleep and explaining it's meaning. I'm really looking forward to that. 

Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. 

Things to do

Yesterday, I came home late which is why I didn't write a proper blog. But I think that the quotes I used this week as substitutes for written blog posts were good. It's always nice to read a good quote, in my opinion. And John Green says and writes the best things.

Anyway, enough about quotes though. Next week I don't have school and I have a whole list of things I plan to do. I really hope I get to do them all. I feel like I'm really falling behind on what I need to do. I just procrastinate or feel tired after school, and end up doing nothing. Basically, things aren't looking too good.

I'm a bit worried about tomorrow because I think it'll be an important day. Hopefully, it'll also be a fun day. I hope it's a fun day for you to!

Another Quote

Another great quote.

(I know I should add sources and give credit to where I got these posters. Sorry.)

Jealousy

I hate jealousy. I'm always jealous of other people and I can't help but be so. When I see someone that has something that I really want, I feel so envious that I feel like I might betray it on my face. (I really don't like it when people can read my face.)

And what's worse is when those people take that thing I want for granted. And it's not their fault. It's just sometimes the things I want are so simple that no one realize that they have it or that other people don't.

I know I'm being very vague, but I just felt like expressing how much I wish I never got jealous. I know people who don't get jealous but instead feel happy for others. I wish I was that kind of person. 

Quote:

- John Green (TFiOS)

This is possibly my favourite quote of all time. Just look at how wonderful it is. 

Exaggerating

I'm glad this week is a short one. I really want to start focusing on things that aren't related to school. I feel like I spent most of my free time finishing my homework this weekend, and now I want a break. Also, I have a test tomorrow which I didn't study for and I'm sure I won't do well. But I don't have the time to study now. Oh well.

Basically, I want a break to do nothing. But the odd thing is that whenever I have nothing to do, I always need to find something. I want to do nothing and yet I can't allow myself to do just that. I always have to be doing something. So I guess it's my fault I don't have the break I want.

I sound like I do a lot of work. I don't. I'm just exaggerating. But, hey, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, right?

Uhhh

So today didn't go entirely as planned, but it was still okay. I ended up doing productive things which is a plus. October is going by quickly and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

On one hand, I want the year to end so it going by quickly is good. I really can't wait for next year even though I know it won't start out well. But on the other hand, NaNoWriMo is approaching and I still have no ideas. I'm going to try and think of some now, but I'm not too optimistic.

That's what I'll go and do now. Wish me luck, even though by the time you read this I'll probably be already finished brainstorming!

Weekend

This weekend will be a busy one. Actually, most of my weekends are busy and the only time I'm free to do anything is at night, but normally I'm too tired by then so I just sleep. Anyway, this weekend is going to be busier than normal. I also think it'll be fun. So I'm looking forward to that.

Lately, I like to be up and about. I always used to like to stay at home, but now I want to always do things out of the house and even when I stay at home, I try to watch as little as possible and to do more productive things. I won't have a chance to do many productive things weekend though.

Anyway, I hope my weekend turns out well and that yours does also. 

Complaining?

Thursdays are my favourite days and I have decided that Wednesdays have become my least favourite days. Of course, this all depends on my school schedule, but I think Wednesday is a good day to not like in general - don't ask me why though.

I'm getting sick of tests. We have a test almost everyday, which I guess is normal, but it's just annoying me. Maybe it's because I'm just sick in general - literally sick I mean. I really want to get rid of my cough. It's driving me crazy. Also, people aren't supposed to stay feeling sick for two weeks, are they? Unless you have a bad cold, and my cold is a normal one. It should have been gone by now.

Anyway, I think I've complained enough for today. 

Boring Stuff

This week is going by slowly. I want it to end. And I still haven't done any brainstorming. It's starting to drive me crazy because I need to brainstorm but I always find something else to do.

Anyway, I think that this year isn't as busy as last year was in terms of projects and things like that. Maybe because it's just the beginning, but it feels like it's a lighter year, even though we're taking harder things. Maybe that will change though.

I want to read now, so I'll end this here. Hope you had a good day. 

One Future

Sometimes we expect things to happen and when things turn out differently, we get upset. But just because things don't happen the way we expect them to doesn't necessarily mean that things will turn out bad. It's a good thing to know what you want and to work for it. In fact, it's very important to set goals and to try to achieve them. But I think people should just be more open when it comes to the future. We shouldn't restrict ourselves to one set future, but should prepare ourselves for the possibility of a number of different futures. 

Tv, Skydiving and Music

I watched the season premiere of Fringe. It was so good. I can't even describe how good it was. I can't wait to watch more.

Also, I watched the Austrian guy jump from, well I'm not exactly sure how high up he was, but it was high. I have no idea how he did it. It was kind of scary when he started flipping uncontrollably - or at least it seemed to me to be that way, maybe he was in complete control. Anyway, he stopped flipping and he landed safely. It was pretty cool.

Now I'm listening to Panic! At the Disco so I'm finding it really hard to blog. I love Vices and Virtues. There isn't a single song in that album that I don't like. I know I've mentioned this before.

Anyway, I'm going to end this here. Bye. 

June

I really cannot wait until June. I just want school to be over with so that I can focus on other things. I want to be finished with SATs and quarter exams and all that. I want things to end quickly.

I feel like this school year, I haven't started out well. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't even know why I feel this way, but I do. The weird thing though is that I like this school year so far. I just don't think it's going well. I feel like things will only go downhill from here.

Also, by June everyone will be on holiday, not just me. The only thing I'd have to worry about in June is university and I guess I'll be able to handle that.  But like I mentioned before, I just have to wait till then