Happy New Year

It's been a while since I last wrote. I know I said that I would start to blog again in December after NaNoWriMo, but I just didn't feel like it at all. In October, I mentioned a few times how a lot of the time I wasn't in the mood for blogging, but that I would continue in December anyway. But when December came, I just felt like I really couldn't write anything. I know that sounds lame, but it's the truth. I just knew that if I started to blog again, each post would get increasingly more boring. Not to mention that in general December is not really a good month for me, even though it's Christmas time and I love Christmas. But this year, I didn't even get into the Christmas spirit at all which is very weird for me.

Anyway, it's a new year and though I definitely don't plan to blog everyday, I don't want to forget about this. Maybe I'll do BEDA or something like I used to do. I'm not promising anything though, but I plan to blog. From the previous paragraph it may seem like I really don't like blogging, but, honestly, I do. I just didn't feel like it in December.

But enough about blogging. Last year wasn't the best year and I hope that 2013 will turn out to be better. I have a lot of high hopes for this year, and although I tend to believe that you shouldn't have high hopes at the beginning of a new year, I can't help myself. I think it's because I think anything will be better than last year.

I don't have any resolutions which isn't a good thing because although you normally forget about them by February, I think resolutions are important. They give you something to aim for and something to look forward to. I hope you all have good resolutions.

This post has been pretty long and I still feel like I have a lot to say. But to sum it up, happy new year. I hope it's a great year for everyone. Remember that a new year is like a new beginning and that anything is possible. So aim for the impossible.

Happy Halloween!

This is the first Halloween of my life where I did nothing to celebrate it. The last few years, I didn't exactly do much, but at least we had a party at school and we put decorations and stuff. And I would wear black or orange and at least do something to make the day special.

This year I did nothing at all. It was almost like it was a completely normal day. But it's Halloween and I'm upset that I didn't do anything. I guess there's always next year though.

I have a lot to do tomorrow, so I need to sleep now so I can wake up in time. I hope that the rest of you had a good Halloween and did something - even if it was something small - to celebrate it. 

Stress

I recently read an article (and I can't find it again so I can't give you the link, sorry) about how people have the need to be stressful. The article stated that having a lot work to do and being stressed is viewed by society as honourable, and so we intentionally stress ourselves by doing too much or trying to handle many things.

I completely agree with the article because I have seen people always compete to be the person who has the most to handle or who is the most stressed. In fact, I think I, myself, find any reason to stress out and give myself goals I know I won't be able to achieve which stresses me. I think people really do feel proud when they have so much to carry that they stress themselves out; it makes us feel like we're somehow better than everyone else.

I guess it's also because if you aren't stressed out with work or responsibilities, people see you as lazy and they somewhat belittle you with how carefree your life is. This motivates us to work extra and do more than we actually need to and and take on more than we can handle.

But being stressed is not a good thing. It's not good for your mental health or your physical health, so I think society needs to change. It needs to be more accepting of people who don't necessarily work until they drop. It needs to honour people who aren't stressed, not belittle them.

I'm not saying working a lot is bad; I'm saying working to the extent where you become stressed is, especially when you're doing so to seem like a better person. Life is too short for us to work to become esteemed only to become stressed and unable to enjoy it. 

xP

It feels really good to be writing this on my laptop. I never realised how much longer it takes for me to type on my iPad. Anyway, that's not important.

I have a headache so I'll probably be writing a few random things - basically anything that comes to my mind.

I started watching Arrested Development, and so far I really like it. I didn't think I would like it as much as I do after watching the first episode. But, yeah, it's good.

Today I didn't do anything productive, so I'm upset about that. Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll get a few things done.

I had a good weekend though. I mean it had it's downs, but for the most part it was good. Weekends are normally good, though, so it's not that much of a surprise.

Okay, I'm going to end this here because I don't have anything interesting at all to write.

Fearing Failure

I always feel like I won't be able to handle the next step in my life even though I know that I will. I always feel like something is bound to come in my way and stump me and that it'll happen at a crucial point in my life. But then I think about what's next for me and I realize that I should be able to tackle what's coming.

So why do I feel like I won't be able to?

Maybe it's just the kind of person I am. I know that I always worry about things and I always feel I am bound to fail. Whether I fail or not most of the time has no impact on that fact. I still always feel I'm going to fail even if my track record is perfect.

I guess it is just my personality. I wish I could change it. Does anyone know where they sell personalities which don't fear failure? I would really like one. 

Eyes Closed

You know when you look at something for so long that when you close your eyes, you see it? And sometimes it's small things like cards because you've played a lot of solitaire or pages of a book because you've read a lot. But sometimes it's something you want to keep on seeing, so you close your eyes more often.

That's happening to me now. Even when I sneeze and my eyes are shut for that fraction of a second, I can see the image. And it's a really nice image. So I'm going to go now to close my eyes. 

Beach

Today we went to the beach for a bit in the morning. I didn't swim though because a) I didn't bring a bathing suit and b) I don't like to swim in the sea. 

I love beaches; I just don't like swimming at beaches. That's because I have a little phobia of the fish in the sea. I like to be able to see what's swimming around me which I can't do because seas are never clear. What I like even more is for there to be nothing swimming around me underwater. 

I guess I'm just a pool person.